I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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