Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
