I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
