So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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