Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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