Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
