Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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