I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
