I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
