More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
