haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
