I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
