God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
