Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
