Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
