Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
