I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
