i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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