shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
