the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
