theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
this will be a night to untag.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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