so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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