I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My dick has a subreddit
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
