I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
