He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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