I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
