apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
