i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
