I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
