Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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