Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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