It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
