So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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