So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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