Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
