I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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