got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
