Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize