sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
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watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
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margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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