the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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