im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
