WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
