He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
