She's JV to your varsity
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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