Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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