return my video game
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
