Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
