I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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