So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
