I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
