I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
