Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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