Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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