I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
