so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
