He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
